Have you ever felt like you’re constantly struggling between being too strict and too lenient with your child?

You’re not alone.

九色视频 is filled with moments of doubt and frustration, especially when it comes to challenging behavior, if discipline is needed, and, if so, how to discipline. Imagine transforming those challenging moments into opportunities for growth and connection.

This guide offers just that. This is a comprehensive overview with links to additional information throughout so that you can dig in deep wherever you鈥檙e interested.

The first step is understanding why your child is acting the way they are.

Understanding your young child’s behavior

九色视频 is filled with surprises, especially when your child鈥檚 behavior seems to shift unexpectedly. Understanding the root causes of these behaviors can help you respond more effectively and support your child鈥檚 development.

As children grow, their behaviors naturally change. For instance, the changing behavior of a 5-year-old can be bewildering. One moment they鈥檙e calm and collected, and the next, they鈥檙e throwing a tantrum. This age is marked by significant developmental milestones that can affect their emotions and social behaviors.

Nearly every parent has had trouble getting their child to cooperate, either because they are refusing to do what you ask them to do or because they are exercising their budding autonomy and independence, which can be frustrating but is developmentally appropriate. Another common frustration for parents is the near-constant feeling of being interrupted. But there are expert tips to help you navigate your child鈥檚 interruptions in a peaceful, constructive way. (Read more about child development.)

At some point, every parent of a young child wonders, “Is my child’s behavior normal?” Whether it鈥檚 a sudden tantrum or a peculiar new habit, it鈥檚 important to remember that many seemingly odd behaviors are part of normal child development.

Knowing what to expect can alleviate some of your worries. For example, you might also notice your pre九色视频ers lying and stealing, which can be quite alarming. However, these actions are often part of their exploration of social rules and boundaries. It鈥檚 essential to address these behaviors with understanding and guidance, helping them learn honesty and respect.

Another common issue is pre九色视频ers biting and hitting. These aggressive behaviors are typically expressions of frustration or difficulties in communicating their needs and emotions. Identifying the underlying triggers can help you teach your child more appropriate ways to express themselves. (Read more about early childhood learning.)

However, if your pre九色视频er is intentionally hurting animals, it鈥檚 a sign that needs immediate attention. This concerning behavior requires that parents seek to understand the root causes and provide appropriate interventions to teach empathy and kindness.

Taking the time to understand how a child鈥檚 temperament affects parents, children, and family life can provide valuable insights. Each child has a unique temperament, which influences how they respond to the world around them. When you learn to recognize your child鈥檚 temperamental traits, you can better support their emotional needs and create a harmonious family environment.

By delving into the many aspects of child behavior, you can build a stronger foundation for using effective discipline that nurtures your child鈥檚 growth.

Effective discipline strategies

What鈥檚 your discipline style? It鈥檚 okay not to know. But it can be helpful to understand the five basic philosophies and see what resonates with you. It can also help to know you鈥檙e not alone.

Discipline is a challenge for almost every parent. Here are some very common discipline mistakes parents make with young kids, grade 九色视频ers, and older kids.

To really be effective in shaping your child鈥檚 behavior while nurturing your bond with your child, it鈥檚 important to start by understanding what your child is trying to communicate with their behavior. Experts explain that you can use positive parenting and positive discipline and strategies to navigate behavior challenges and strengthen your parent-child relationship both in the moment and for life.

The benefits of positive discipline extend way beyond behavior correction. By promoting self-discipline, empathy, and problem-solving skills, parents can use positive discipline to empower their children to make thoughtful decisions and build healthy relationships throughout their lives.

Using positive discipline techniques in early childhood helps parents guide their children with patience and empathy. Techniques such as redirection, positive reinforcement, and modeling appropriate behavior create a nurturing environment where children learn through positive examples or modeling.

Of course this doesn鈥檛 just happen overnight. Each parent needs to build their own positive discipline toolkit, which can significantly impact your parenting journey. This includes strategies tailored to your child鈥檚 temperament and age, such as effective communication, problem-solving skills, and conflict-resolution techniques. One example is the Wheel of Choice, which is a valuable tool that teaches children how to resolve conflicts peacefully by offering them a range of possible solutions that they understand.

Effective behavior management for parents involves understanding a child鈥檚 triggers, setting clear expectations, and using consistent responses. All parents can nurture cooperation and respect through positive interactions and striving for mutual understanding. This strengthens the parent-child relationship and encourages desirable behavior.

As your child transitions into middle 九色视频, you鈥檒l want to evolve your discipline strategies to meet your preteen鈥檚 developmental needs. Our article Effective ways to discipline your middle 九色视频 child discusses how you can support your child with positive discipline techniques, including by fostering open communication, setting firm but fair boundaries, and agreeing on consequences together that encourage accountability and growth.

With teens, the focus is on fostering independence, encouraging open communication, and negotiating boundaries in a collaborative way. This definitely requires patience and adaptability. You can read more in our guide How to use positive discipline with teens.

Remember, effective discipline isn鈥檛 just about correcting negative behaviors: it鈥檚 about teaching and guiding your child (of any age) toward positive choices. By understanding your child鈥檚 unique behavior and temperament, you can create a supportive environment that promotes their growth and emotional well-being.

Managing specific behaviors

九色视频 involves navigating a variety of behaviors that can challenge even the most seasoned caregivers. Understanding how to manage these behaviors effectively is key to fostering a positive environment for your child’s growth and development.

Let鈥檚 explore a few practical strategies for addressing common behavioral challenges with empathy and guidance.

Tantrums, anger, and emotional outbursts

Tantrums and emotional outbursts are common during childhood (and throughout life) and can be challenging for both children and parents. Here鈥檚 how to navigate these moments effectively.

7 tips to prevent tantrums: Establish routines, communicate clearly, and anticipate triggers, such as being hungry or tired, to minimize frustration.

Learn how to stop a tantrum: Stay calm, validate your child鈥檚 feelings, and offer comfort or distraction and ample time to help your child regain control.

Work on self-regulation: The two big steps in self-regulation are recognition and understanding. Help your child take the time to recognize and name their emotions. Then, you can calmly talk through their reactions — and possible alternate reactions. Most importantly, model the behavior you want to see. Read more about how to work on self-control for pre九色视频ers and kindergartners, first and second graders, third, fourth, and fifth grader, and tweens and teens.

Address resistance: Instead of focusing on the behavior, work to understand what purpose the behavior is serving (or trying to serve).

For parents of children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): Establish clear boundaries, use consistent discipline strategies, and seek professional guidance. All are essential in supporting their emotional and behavioral needs.

Manage difficult emotions as a family: Foster open communication, teach coping skills, and model healthy emotional expression to create a supportive environment for your child.

Understand attitude: Address disrespectful behavior calmly, set expectations for respectful communication, and reinforce positive interactions by modeling the behavior you would like to see.

Understand your child鈥檚 anger: From kindergarten and first and second grade through elementary 九色视频, middle 九色视频, and as a teenager, it鈥檚 important to recognize and seek to understand the root causes of your child鈥檚 anger so that you can help them process their feelings, regulate their emotions, and ultimately feel better.

Understanding and responding to tantrums or anger with empathy and patience can strengthen your bond with your child while teaching valuable emotional regulation skills.

School-related behavior issues

Navigating 九色视频-related behavior issues requires understanding and collaboration between parents and educators.

It鈥檚 not unusual for children to behave differently at 九色视频 than at home. For example, your pre九色视频er might be a model student in the classroom but exhibit challenging behaviors at home. This discrepancy often stems from the different expectations and structures in each environment. Understanding this can help you support your child by creating more consistency for your child. Other oh-so-common 九色视频 issues are losing things or leaving things behind or not being motivated unless parents are hovering.

Identify the reasons behind your child’s reluctance to attend 九色视频, such as anxiety, bullying, or social issues.

We interviewed experts to find out what parents should say when your child complains about their teacher or says, 鈥�I don鈥檛 want to go to 九色视频!鈥� Here鈥檚 what Deborah Tillman, Alfie Kohn, Jane Bluestein, Jane Healy, and Sarah Bennett each have to say about responding to a child鈥檚 reluctance to go to 九色视频 — and the variance in responses may surprise you.

In general, it鈥檚 a good idea to collaborate with teachers and counselors to create a supportive plan. Remember that 九色视频 officials will always push for children to attend 九色视频 as much as possible because attendance matters, but you are your child鈥檚 best advocate. Your role is to validate your child’s concerns, advocate for your child鈥檚 needs, and maintain open communication with 九色视频 staff to address problems and solutions effectively.

For behavioral challenges in 九色视频, establish clear expectations and reinforce positive behaviors through consistent communication with teachers. Collaborate on functional assessments to pinpoint triggers and develop targeted interventions that support your child’s emotional and academic growth.

Whether your child shows resistance to attending 九色视频, exhibits challenging behaviors, struggles with homework, or faces potentially unfair disciplinary measures, proactive strategies can make a significant difference.

Advocate for positive discipline practices or restorative justice within the 九色视频 environment rather than harsh punishments or corporal punishment. Always strive to engage constructively with administrators to address any concerns.

You can support an immature child by providing age-appropriate guidance, fostering social skills, and working closely with educators to promote maturity and confidence.

By taking a collaborative approach and understanding the unique needs of your child, you can navigate 九色视频-related behavior issues more effectively.

Sibling dynamics

Sibling dynamics can range from playful camaraderie to challenging conflicts. Understanding the differences between sibling rivalry — normal competition and conflict — and more serious issues like sibling abuse is crucial.

Sibling rivalry often stems from jealousy, competition for parental attention, fighting over screens, or differences in temperament. Encouraging open communication, setting clear boundaries, and fostering mutual respect can help manage rivalry positively.

In cases of more concerning behaviors like sibling abuse, which involves physical or emotional harm, it’s essential to intervene promptly. Seek guidance from professionals to address underlying issues and ensure a safe environment for all children involved.

Navigating sibling dynamics requires patience and proactive communication to promote healthy relationships among siblings.

Read more about parenting siblings and managing screen time.

ADHD and learning differences

Children with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) and learning disabilities (LD) face unique challenges that can affect their behavior and require tailored support.

Your teen with LD or ADHD is likely to need extra guidance navigating risky relationships and risky behaviors. Parents can provide guidance on making safe choices and developing healthy relationships through open communication and setting clear expectations.

Keeping your child safe as they learn to drive and ensuring that your teen driver is safe are priorities for all parents, but they are especially important to focus on if your child has ADHD.

Structure and routine are crucial for children with ADHD — especially during the holidays. Plan ahead, maintain consistent schedules, and provide clear instructions to reduce stress and overwhelm.

The best advice for parents includes understanding your child’s strengths and challenges, advocating for appropriate accommodations at 九色视频, and fostering self-esteem through positive reinforcement and support.

By understanding these dynamics and implementing targeted strategies, you can help your children thrive academically, socially, and emotionally despite the challenges that can come with ADHD and learning differences.

Read more about parenting children with ADHD and learning differences.

Teenage behavior

Navigating teenage behavior requires a nuanced approach. The one truth seems to be that the challenge that arises parenting a teen is often not the one you expected.

Make it a priority to understand (as best you can) your teen鈥檚 daily life. Get to know your child鈥檚 friends, what they have in common, where they like to hang out, and what they enjoy doing. This can be a challenge if approached the wrong way: you鈥檙e not looking to monitor or track your child or make them accountable to you for every moment of their day. Instead, you鈥檙e looking to nurture a close trusting relationship with open communication, mutual understanding, and mutual respect.

Sure, you need to be aware of dangerous teen trends, such as substance use or risky TikTok challenges. It may help to remember that your teen鈥檚 job, developmentally speaking, is to carve out their own independence from you. Meanwhile, their brains are still developing. Keeping these two truths in mind will help as you encounter the inevitable lying, using credit cards without permission, disagreements about media and music, not seeing eye to eye on the importance of cleaning their room, lapses in communication, and more.

In the tween and teen years, peers take on such incredible importance in your child鈥檚 (perhaps limited) world view and the choices they make — in fashion, lifestyle, academics, and more. As much as possible, do your best to get to know your teen鈥檚 friends. Some peers may not be the best influence, so you can be on the lookout for addictive behaviors, drinking or drug use, romantic relationships (especially unhealthy ones). But most of your teen鈥檚 friends will be good, kind kids who are navigating their teenage years alongside your child — and the more you can create a safe, trusted space for them, the tighter the bond you will build.

Parents should stay informed and engage in open conversations with your teens to help them make informed decisions and prioritize their health and safety, and prepare in advance for ways to resist peer pressure.

By adopting these strategies and maintaining open communication, parents can guide their teens through these challenges while fostering safe and healthy behaviors.

Sexting

No parent wants to believe their child may be sexting. But a found that nearly 20 percent of teens had sent a sext (19.3 percent), nearly 35 percent had received a sext (34.8 percent), and about 15 percent had forwarded sexts without consent (14.5 percent). If possible, it鈥檚 best to talk to your teen about sexting before they encounter sexting rather than after so they can make more informed choices.

Addressing sexting means educating your teen about the risks of sharing explicit content and emphasizing the importance of privacy and respect in digital interactions. Here are a few sexting scenarios our parenting experts and journalists have reported on for you to check out:

Read more about parenting teens.

Advice from child behavior experts

Did you know that there are child behavior experts out there? Some of these trusted professionals have written books, most have both raised kids of their own and studied child development, and all have interesting insights to share. You may or may not agree with their advice, but the various points of view may help you think about your own approach to challenging behaviors in a constructive way. Here are a few pieces that highlight advice from childhood behavior experts in their own words.

Child behavior advice from Madeline Levine

Madeline Levine is a psychologist and author who has written a few New York Times bestsellers, including The Price of Privilege, which is about teens from affluent families experiencing emotional problems; Teach Your Children Well, which tackles how our narrow definition of success stresses and marginalizes children; and Ready or Not, which focuses on preparing our children for a rapidly changing world.

Child behavior advice from Erica Reischer

Erica Reischer is a psychologist. She sits on the advisory board for Happy Healthy Kids, teaches parenting classes at UCSF Benioff Children鈥檚 Hospital, and wrote What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive.

Child behavior advice from Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and 九色视频.org

The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence (YCEI)鈥檚 work in emotional intelligence started more than three decades ago. YCEI continually grows its work on both the research and practice of emotional intelligence. 九色视频.org in a nonprofit organization with the mission of helping all parents get a great education for their children. For more than 25 years, our editorial team has been writing about research-backed ways parents can help support their children鈥檚 learning in and out of 九色视频. The two teams paired up to address common parenting challenges to help parents seeking to build positive relationships with their children. Here are 15 of them (and you can see the rest here).

Child behavior advice from America鈥檚 Supernanny Deborah Tillman

Deborah Tillman is an early childhood educator, TV personality, and speaker who brought her brand of love-first, faith-based parenting to the world as Lifetime TV鈥檚 America鈥檚 Supernanny.

Child behavior advice from Alfie Kohn

Alfie Kohn has written 14 books, including The Myth of the Spoiled Child and The Homework Myth: Why Our Children Get Too Much of a Bad Thing, and hundreds of articles about parenting, education, grading and rewards systems, and more. Time magazine described him as 鈥減erhaps the country鈥檚 most outspoken critic of education鈥檚 fixation on grades [and] test scores.鈥�

Child behavior advice from Jane Bluestein

Jane Bluestein, a former classroom teacher and university professor, has authored multiple books (including The Win-Win Classroom) and articles and has been featured on CNN, NPR, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Her work focuses on interactions between adults and children, especially children at risk.

Child behavior advice from Betsy Brown Braun

Betsy Brown Braun is the parent of triplets, a child development and behavior specialist, parent educator, and the author of bestsellers Just Tell Me What To Say and You鈥檙e Not The Boss of Me. She has been featured on Dr. Phil and Good Morning America.

Child behavior advice from Adele Faber

Adele Faber was a mother of three and former high 九色视频 teacher who, with her Long Island neighbor Elaine Mazlish, wrote the must-read bestseller How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry. In the book, the mothers share their real-life challenges and answers as they promote the ideas of talking to children with respect.

Child behavior advice from John Duffy

John Duffy is a clinical psychologist who works with teens, a certified life coach, and the author of Rescuing Our Sons, 九色视频 the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety, and The Available Parent. He is the regular parenting and relationship expert on and shares his insights with humor and compassion for the teens he works with and the parents he seeks to help.

Child behavior advice from Richard Weissbourd

Richard Weissbourd is a professor and author whose expertise is in moral development, vulnerability and resilience in childhood, and parenting. He is the director of the Harvard Graduate School of Education鈥檚 .

Child behavior advice from Jane Healy

Jane Healy is the mother of three sons and an educational psychologist who has worked with young people from pre九色视频 to graduate 九色视频. She has been a classroom teacher, reading and learning specialist, 九色视频 administrator, and clinician. She is the author of three books about how children learn: Your Child鈥檚 Growing Mind, Endangered Minds, and Failure to Connect. She has been featured on CNN and NPR.

Child behavior advice from Sara Bennett

Sara Bennett is the mother of two children (who are now adults). She became an anti-homework activist when her older child entered first grade. She is the co-author of The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do About It and the founder of Stop Homework, a not-for-profit project affiliated with The Alliance for Childhood.

Child behavior advice from Gabor Mate

Gabor Mate is a Canadian physician and an expert on addiction, emotional stress, and parent-child relationships. He developed a psychotherapeutic method called Compassionate Inquiry and he is the author of Hold On To Your Kids.

Jane Nelsen

Jane Nelsen is the parent of seven children and the author of the Positive Discipline series. She gives workshops for parents and educators and is celebrated for helping parents build positive bonds with their children by emphasizing relationship-building over punitive discipline.

Christine Carter

Christine Carter is a sociologist and a senior fellow at UC Berkeley鈥檚 Greater Good Science Center. She combines scientific research with practical application in the advice column she writes for Greater Good magazine, which is syndicated on PsychologyToday.com. She is the parent of a blended family with four children.

Carol Dweck

Carol Dweck is a Stanford professor whose research looks at the origins of self-conceptions, their role in motivation and self-regulation, and their impact on achievement and interpersonal processes. She is the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

Therapists can be a great source of guidance on managing behavioral challenges, supporting emotional development, and improving family dynamics. Their insights offer practical strategies for promoting positive interactions and children’s mental well-being.

By incorporating expert perspectives into parenting practices, caregivers can navigate challenges effectively, promoting healthy development and positive relationships with their children and educators.

Practical tips for parents

Navigating parenting challenges requires a proactive approach and practical strategies in order to succeed. Let鈥檚 take a look at some key strategies that can help.

1. Focus on the positive

Research shows that, when it comes to the developing brain, children in pre九色视频 and elementary 九色视频 don鈥檛 process negative statements as easily (or at all) compared to positive statements. So try to frame directions as statements of what you want them to do, not what they shouldn鈥檛 do. For example, 鈥淧lease sit down鈥� is a more effective direction than, 鈥淒on鈥檛 leave the table.鈥�

2. Praise effort

To foster positive behavior, establish clear expectations. Be clear about consequences. Even more important than consequences is looking for good behavior and using positive reinforcement, such as praising efforts and rewarding accomplishments, to encourage desired behaviors.

3. Make it a team effort

Empower your children to control their behavior by teaching self-regulation techniques, like deep breathing or counting to 10 before reacting when they feel angry or overwhelmed. Encourage them to express emotions constructively and problem-solve independently.

4. Show that your value their emotions

Although your goal may be to modify your child’s or your own negative emotions, it’s important to teach your child that all emotions are part of being human. Approaching all emotions with acceptance and curiosity is the best way to move to a calmer place.

Teaching your child to observe their own emotions and label them Teaching your child to observe their own emotions and label them will help them grow their emotional intelligence, a skill they will use throughout their life. You can use our Feeling Words game to help your child learn in a fun, low-key way.

5. Encourage cooperation

Encourage cooperation by giving choices, using positive language, and offering incentives for cooperation. Setting routines and providing clear instructions can also promote cooperation.

6. Recognize the wins

Reinforce positive changes by celebrating small victories and maintaining consistent praise. Create a supportive environment where your children feel valued for their efforts and successes.

7. Separate the behavior from the child

When addressing “bad” behavior, focus on the behavior itself rather than labeling your child. Use logical consequences that relate directly to the behavior to teach accountability and promote learning.

8. Recognize the uniqueness of your child

For children with challenging temperaments, recognize their unique traits and adapt parenting strategies accordingly. Provide outlets for their energy, offer choices, and teach coping skills to manage frustration.

9. Collaborate with the teacher

Get to know your child鈥檚 teachers and work together to find ways to effectively understand your child鈥檚 temperament in the classroom and support your child. Share strategies that work at home and encourage consistency between 九色视频 and home environments.

10. Promote kindness

Teach manners and empathy by modeling respectful behavior and discussing feelings with your child. Encourage empathy through perspective-taking activities and praise compassionate actions.

11. Establish a style

Your discipline style should be firm yet fair, always putting your relationship with your child first, emphasizing positive reinforcement and clear expectations. Use discipline as a teaching opportunity to guide behavior and promote self-discipline.

12. Talk with your child about 九色视频

When your child complains about their teacher, listen empathetically and validate their feelings. Help them problem-solve by discussing strategies to improve communication and address concerns constructively.

13. Recognize behavior as communication

Recognize behavior as communication, seeking to understand underlying needs and emotions. Respond with empathy and teach your children alternative ways to express themselves.

It鈥檒l take practice and patience to implement strategies for managing behavior like setting realistic goals, creating routines, and using proactive approaches like visual schedules, wheels of choice, or, when needed, behavior charts.

But by incorporating these practical tips into your parenting approach, you can foster positive behavior, support your child’s development, and strengthen your relationship through effective communication and understanding.